Who am I?

I am a Manglik Girl, is that my identity?

So, here’s the story of a Hindu/Jain girl born with “Mangal Dosha”.

We all have no control over the concept of “birth”; when, where, how, and why is something that has been unknown. But we make it all logical by consulting astrologers for every event in our life. The Hindu parents find solace after consulting an astrologer for every problem they face, even when it is for a child just born. We are defined immediately after the “Kundli” is made and the rest of our life is planned accordingly.

The “Kundli” is the beginning. From how a child will perform in school, which activity he/she will be inclined to, how long will he/she study, which place should she/he study in, which extra-curricular activity should he/she choose, to every day events, health, career, marriage, family and what not. There is no end coz’ that’s what life is all about, however, we define our lives or our children’s lives on the mere myth of “Kundli’s” predictions.

Recently, an event in life made me come in terms with reality of being born in a Hindu/Jain Community where individuality holds no good but what your Kundli suggests about you does. Yes, I am a Manglik Girl and my parents want me married now. But to their disappointment, every alliance or association ends at an early stage for reasons like, Kundli’s didn’t match, the girl is obese/heavy/broad, she is short, oh, she runs a business, we’d prefer a homemaker, and the most amusing and commonly known to me is “She is a Manglik”.

Well, to all those born in the Hindu Community, a brief insight on my observations about this “Taboo”. “Mangal dosha” is not really a “dosha” but a mental block we have built for years hearing our ancestors talk of the ill-effects a marriage between a Manglik and a Non-Manglik bride or groom will have. As we have no authority over birth, we also have no supremacy even on the stars that impact our lives, perhaps, every individual today is what they choose to be and not alone coz’ of the planetary positions in their Kundli. “Mangal” is empowering due to the position of Mars which is an aggressive planet and makes an individual headstrong in their opinion, viewpoints, or actions which leads to problems or conflict with other individuals. Mangal does not just change your viewpoint after marriage, a Manglik person throughout his/her life will always have a strong viewpoint and will not easily succumb to a general opinion. Guess, that’s the reasons our ancestors made this a belief that a Manglik and a Non-Manglik couple will not go a long way in marriage.

Marriages are supposed to be a unison of two souls, not stars. If I choose to live a certain life with someone, my stars can impact only to some extent, what really impacts lives are our personal choices and actions to different situations.

They say, a Manglik person if married to a Non-Manglik can have ill-effects on the family, or will turn into a failure, or will cause health issues to the Non-Manglik partner. My curiosity in this subject made me study few cases and it boils down to a point where even the Manglik partner can be equally at loss due to the Non-Manglik partner’s stars or planetary positions. Even the Manglik partner can suffer for health, career, life overall due to the stars of the Non-Manglik partner. So how can only the Manglik partner be blamed or suffer?

There are couples I know, both Manglik or both Non-Manglik who have suffered deep or have had bad marriage or have ended in divorces or even worse. Why are such marriages not questioned? How did astrologers not see this coming? How could they not avoid the suffering the two individuals or families faced? Coz’ predictions of the future are chosen by us, we hear what we wish to without being rational or practical in life.

Ever heard other religions matching horoscopes before the marriage or ever heard a couple consulting Kundli before falling in love? No! It is a matter of connecting souls and accepting others. This whole theory of astrology and belief in it is like worshiping the idols and believing they will change our lives or will good luck and fortune. I always believed that religion is the game of the sub conscious mind, where when we believe in something, it comes to us or gives us strength to accept. It makes us stronger not because there are gods watching you from up there and moving their wand to change your life. The moment we join hands to pray, we try connecting our body to our soul and move towards being stronger in changing or accepting life as it comes.

The famous proverb, “god help those who help themselves” says it all. When we pray in belief or when we really want something in life, we move mountains to turn it into reality. However, we pay gratitude to the idols we worshipped than paying gratitude to ourselves for being stronger and better.

“Bhagwan mujhe exam mein pass kara dena bas iss baar” is the most known phrase and I am sure, we have all said it once in our life, but have we ever succeeded without trying? If we pass in exams just by praying, schools should be shut, and we must have more religious places to just sit there and worship for everything in life; food, money, house, job, etc.

A Manglik partner can be a threat to a Non-Manglik partner only when their souls don’t really connect as the Manglik partner can be vocal and raise an alarm causing the marriage to be unstable at some point in time. It is as simple as respecting and accepting an individual, what would happen if you don’t, the association may see some turbulence.

How I wish through this write up, I could reach out to all the Hindus and alter their belief in this “Mangal Dosh” theory. Stop blaming the girl or the boy for something they never had control over. I am born this way, and would like to be appreciated and accepted for what I made of my life not what I am born with.

I am an entrepreneur who started young and is going steady in her career, I am an individual who adores her family and respects mankind, I love socializing, I love to be a rebel sometimes, I am stubborn and I can really be possessive for the one’s I love, I am creative and love talking, training was my passion which I turned into a career, I live in Delhi and speak Hindi, I sometimes use the typical Delhi slangs and got no racist qualities, I have travelled and met people from different facets of life, I have befriended people irrespective of their religion, community or color or gender, I love those who love me in return, I want to see as many places possible, I try to be fit in the best of my capacity, yes, I am short and obese or average built or healthy as you may like to call me, I laugh my guts even when in public places or family gatherings, I love to wear clothes according to my comfort not to please anyone, I go out partying with just male friends coz’ I trust them and myself more, and there is more for you to explore, may be (wink).

I am not just a Manglik girl and that’s not my identity!