Potpourri

Life is fragile, uncertain and unpredictable. If there is light today, tomorrow ought to be dark and vice-versa. I wonder sitting idle and you see, I try and be idle sometimes to think about life. I have heard a lot of people say, one should be happy in life, do not worry, take things as they come, just be positive, etc. etc., in fact I teach the same to my trainees while I am at work. However, considering any individual and situations in life, there are moments, where positive thoughts just doesn't happen. All that mind can grasp on are negative thoughts, they hover time and again. 


Life is indeed beautiful as said and quoted by many but it also isn't easy to live each day in a similar fashion. One day when I smile the most, I know, the next day is going to be hard on me. It comes naturally now. Sometimes, I fear laughing out too loud because that signifies the next day for me. It warns me, it haunts me and it worries me!!

But with years of experiences and a journey that has been quite enlightening, I am still learning to strike a balance. I still fall and I know that I WILL, no matter what get up and walk again. Hurdles are drawn closer every time as I am determined to walk again. And now, I know this is WHAT LIFE ALL ABOUT!!

Recently, I encountered something different which I haven't experienced before. It wasn't an easy decision to make to step into something like that. But it brought me love, it brought me happiness and it gave me what I have been desiring for years. Sometimes, we just follow our heart, follow our dreams and fail but that FAILURE, is a lesson for life. I have been the happiest in last few months, I have also been the saddest all this while and I know good things don't come easy and to allow myself to be happy, I need to sometimes let the tears roll. I am experiencing the best and the worst at the same time. I get what I need but not what I deserve. I deserve more and I know it, yet the heart's and the mind's struggle continue.

Do I really want this? Yes, I do.. but no, I don't..!! Am I happy, of course yes..., wait....hell NO!! Will this continue forever? It can... No Ways, it should not, and it WILL not!! WTF!!!! Why am I always stuck? 


Perhaps, if life was to be easy, rocking and rolling, it won't be any fun. The roller coaster rides too steep up and down and that's what make us crazy about them. Times that have flown will never return and the times waiting shall flow too bringing a potpourri of emotions. And it is very important to have lived each emotions with complete honesty and desire. We can fool the world, we can fool everyone around us, but can we do that to ourselves? NO WAY!!!!

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